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Zelda..was gibt's GIT?

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Coming Around [21 Dec 2006|03:02pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Ok soooooo yesterday Justina came over and we watched Puff the Magic Dragon and played with Flavor Flav.It was funny. Im eating sunflower seeds. I'm going back on my diet. I need to get healthy. Right now i have low iron, high chlosterol,and like extremely low calcium. i think i might be getting anemia. so i need to like get in better health. im also doing some exercise again.

I need stuff to do next week. im hanging out with justina again and thats about it. so yea. any takers?

Getting you off...

♥ La-lizz

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holy holy holy cowww [20 Dec 2006|03:41pm]
[ mood | drained ]

first time in months i have written

just thought i should open lj back up.

can i get an amen!!

or a welcome back? lol


♥ Liz

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*sings* Ich habe....!!!!! [11 Apr 2006|09:32pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

so yea. haircut bleh
and soon.. like on friday the hairdye

sooo yea





so greg is freakin awesome. really sweet.

he sent me mail yesterday saying basically that we havent talked much but things seemed to be going good when we did talk so he was wondering if we like each other. haha so cute

i feel so dumb im like blabbering about anything to try to get a convo going and i kept appoligizing and hes like haha you're so cute. i guess he doesnt mind me talking so much haha i dunno

but yea i have church friday and hes probably going so that makes me happy. i get a kiss the next time i see him haha yayuh!

no hes really sweet. makes me happy. its like i didnt expect anything at all im just in church i get a note, i talk to him, get his s/n. things are going good. haha and to think ive facial flirted with this guy for years. amazing hahahaa

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Heavens not a place where you go when you die its that moment in life when you actually feel alive [09 Apr 2006|08:35pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

ok well amazing weekend

started out bad

a fight

fixed that

and fixed things with hector

and... got some dudes number


and uhhh movies

and flirting

and fake steak



yay! hahaha

good weekend

2 comments|post comment

[08 Apr 2006|01:58pm]
why have i hurt everyone this year?
2 comments|post comment

[03 Apr 2006|02:52pm]
[ mood | content ]

The words wreek havok
burning a hollow hole in my heart
they shouldnt hurt
but needless to say they do
it burns, burns
tearing at my well being
driving me insane
they shouldnt hurt
they shoudlnt
but they do
the tears, the tears
flood from my eyes
rushing toward my mouth
the bitter sweet taste of salty angst
the anger, the sullenness
they shouldnt hurt but they do
i cry for hours wanting to get over
but when my heart i involved
nothing is logic
nothing is meaningful
the doubt is great
and the load is heavy
i cant stand to touch you
or to even be around
and times i get happy
and times i get that feeling
sends me back into hell
with the words
the words
tearing at me
there is a void
there is a hole
i try to surmount
bt it is too strong
im chaine
im suffacating
i cant breathe
i want out
i want out
no more hurt
i want it gone
i dont want to hurt
let me go

i wrote that last night. everyone knows what its about...

and then today i got this...


1.She is a very fun person
2.She is very smart
3. She will kick your ass if you mess with her friends.
4. She exceeds the"normal" level of caring for other people.
5. She is hilarious.
6. She is very creative.
7 She likes things like the Aquabats and the Paranormal.
8. She finds little monkeys and names them stanley.
9. She is kooler than any of you.
10. She comes the closest to being as hyper and weird as I.
11. She is the only person who would go in like negative 100 degree water with me at the beach.
12. She is unknowingly generous.
13. She is oblivious to how great she is
14. She is beautiful inside and out.
15. She is entertaining.
16. She sings on the phone like she is singing with p.diddy
17. She plays football with her sneakers
18. She puts the Liz into LIZbian.
19. She loves CHUCK NORRIS like I
20. She doesn't sniff airplane glue like Hector does
21. She walks allllllll the wayyy to Hectors house with me
22. She loves the past
23. She dances on the flagpole with me.
24.She is my twin
25. She is my best friend and i love her dearly

INCASE YOU COME TO FORGET HOW MUCH I MOTHERFUCKING LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333..etc, and so forth.. it goes on forever but i think people will get annoyed if i put that many 3s on here.

but I heart you Liz. DONT FUCKING FORGET IT KID.


you dont know how good that made me feel.

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checking out each other, checking each other out. [20 Mar 2006|05:17pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

yea ok welllll

spring break was fun. did lots of stuff hah

as for me?

im pretty good. under alot of emotional shit i probably shouldnt be in.

you know my head is playing games with me.

its like i am with the whole "needing" a bf shit again. i dont know why. that will pass. as long as i dont give into it. ya know?

but its like im trying to get over hector. we dont have enough in common and a lot of stuff we disagree about isnt the type of thing you just get over. religion is a huge part of my life. he doesnt believe in it at all. thats the number one flaw i guess. i still like him tho.

i feel like im being a bitch to ilde. hes a nice guy but i dont think we'd go good together either.

its like right now i just need a friend. someone i can build a relationship with in the future. the closest thing i have to that right now is hector but again theres the huge flaw again.

so i wrote down all the attributes i want in a guy and kind of did a little prayer to god. its not like i need this person in my life right now. just for the future. its kind of like this thing.. i dunno.. a bit hard to explain but im not gonna date anyone unless they have all these attributes.. there are some exceptions to that. if me and hector develope into something, i might give that one a try and i guess for a few other people it might work as well but heres my list:

♥ must be a good friend..more than good... me and him need to be close friends... someone i dont have to worry about feeling stupid around. it wont matter..

♥he needs to be sweet and understanding.. yea he can make fun of me, hell, i make fun of myself but ill need to be able to know when hes joking and if i tell him to cut it out no "baby i was jokin" shit cuz sometimes i take things more seriously than most people would. get over it. im not gonna change.

♥ he needs to love me for me, make me feel special and so on and so forth. looks count little in the world of love. if he finds me attractive but doesnt give a shit about my personailty than fuck him hes not for me.

♥ me and him need to share a bunch of common interests.. doesnt matter which ones.. if i have nothing in commmon with him it wont work..

♥ he needs to be intelligent.. if i cant have an intellictual convo with them if i feel like it then its not working.. not too smart. i hate know-it-alls. they cant make me feel dumb unless i am being a blonde and then its ok every once in a while

♥ he cant get embarassed of me and not want to be around me when im fucking crazy cuz you know i can be sometimes..

♥ he cant try to change me by telling me everything i do wrong.. try commending me on something i do right. i feel like i do everything wrong as it is. dont make going out with you one of those mistakes..

♥ as far as looks are concerned.. im not shallow but he cant weigh 5 tons.. im sorry and he cant be 12 feet taller than me.. my ideal guy i guess is about my height or a bit taller with like a muscularish body or skinny.. or average.. doesnt matter. hair would be any kind but i like darker hair or red. eyes would be green or hazel or brown.. maybe blue if they are a nice blue.. style.. i could care less as long as tehy arent tooo gothic.. i kinda like some of the goth look sometimes depends tho..

♥ he might not agree with my belifs but he cant mock them.. like vegetarianism.. doesnt matter if he is or not.. it would be AMAZING if he was but i could care less you know? as long as hes not a carnivore and keep saying meat is the greatest thing and that animals were put on this earth to feed humans cuz thats a load full of bullshit and i wont deal with it.

♥ he cannot hunt.. fishing is ok i guess but hunting.. no fucking way

♥ he needs to be somewhat religious or at least not have anything against me being religious

♥ he needs to understand that if i dont want to talk about something with him i will tell him when i am ready. dont push it like every fucking secoond. once i cool down, i will tell you..

♥ if i want to hang out with my friends that needs to be ok.. sometimes i will need my space

♥ dont fucking call me 50 times a day. that gets annoying as shit. call to say hi. call like no more than 3 times a day. that might even be high. make sure you do call tho. i might feel bad if you dont

♥ flowers are nice for any occasion.. whether you have to or not. its a nice gesture. no reason at all is the best way to get a present. even if it is just a single flower, its a cute gesture.

♥ dont feel like you need to spend a lot of money on me.. im not high maintenance at all. believe me.

♥ if i am sick come by and bring me veggie soup or sumthin to make me feel better.

♥ if i am pmsing, im sorry i can be a bitch

♥ love sees no age but i dont want him to be more than 3 years older than me.. unless hes an amazing guy otherwise

you know and that might seem like a lot but thats just my ideal guy.

and yea im out. im tired and psming so yea byebye

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[11 Mar 2006|01:19pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

let seeeeeee

um today i went out shopping. it was funnnnnnnnnnn. like really really fun.

i got a new bathing suit. its cute. and i got two pairs of jeans for like 10 bux each and a napolean dynamite shirt and another shirt. yea. and then i went to ruby tuesdays and got food and a shirley temple.. i got one to go...

and i ordered the return of the aquabats so i can get the last cd to my collection..then i need to buy the fury and myths because i have them burnt.. so yea..

tomorrow the spill canvas concert!!

cant wait

and then the beach sometime

i dunno what my other plans are..

and i think i want to be a paranormal investigator as my career. fuck yea im serious...

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hey guys im happy today [10 Mar 2006|08:23pm]
[ mood | amused ]

call me a poser or whatever but i think i am officially in love with dir en grey

thier videos are kind of distubring tho hahah

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There is a God out there [20 Feb 2006|09:00pm]
[ mood | touched ]

"Ready To Meet Him"

Please give me the strength I need to live...
Bear with me

We each walk the path, that we've chosen

I'm ready to meet him
We're I'm living ain't right
Black hate whit
White hate black
It's right back
To the same fight
They got us suspecting a war
But the real war is to follow the law of the lord

Lord, you left me stranded
And I don't know why
Told me to live my life
Now I'm ready to die
Ready to fly
I cry, but I shed no tears
You told me you would dead those fears, it's been years
Snakes still coming at me
Just missing
Sometimes I think all you doing me is just listen
I thought that I was special
Thats what you told me
Hold me
Stop acting like you don't know me
What'd I do so bad that it sent you away from me
Not only sent you away, but made you stay away from me
(My child I'm here, as I've always been, it was you who went away,
And now are back again, what did I say?)
Follow your word, and be true
(What did you do?)
Well:what I wanted to do...
(What have you seen?)
Darkness and hell at a glance
(What do you want?)
All I want is another chance


(Just because you went away, my doors are not locked, wanna come back home, all you gotta do is knock)
Ya see, I left home a boy, I returned as a man
Full grown, and I'm still not able to stand
(I gave you a hand)
Well...but I was looking the wrong way
Figured out the plan, then I started to pray
And that prayer, took me from here to over there
Back to over here
Now they got me like where?
Do I belong?
Do I fit in?
Things on my mind, where do I begin?
It's easier to sin, but it hurts my heart
I'm really tryin' to win, so where do we start?
(Thou shall not steal)
But, what if he stole from me?
(Thou shall not kill)
But what if he's tryin' to kill me?
(Thou shall not, take my, name in vain, no matter how hard it rains, withstand the pain)


Our father, who art in heaven
I'm not ashamed to ask for guidance, at 27
No longer afraid to knock on your door
Not scared anymore to lose my life in the war
After what I just saw, I'm ridin' with the lord
Cause I really can't afford to lose my head by the sword
And now that I've seen, what I need to see
Please take me, where I need to be
(What have you learned?)
It's better to tell the truth than to lie
(What have you learned?)
To love my life until I die
(What have you learned?)
Violence isn't always the key
(What have you learned?)
You can't always believe what you see
(What have you learned?)
It's better to forgive and forget
(What have you learned?)
Give as you expect to get
(What have you learned?)
That I can't go on without you
(What have you learned?)
I musta been a fool to ever doubt you


I'm ready to meet him

this song speaks to me..

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oh-em-gee [20 Feb 2006|06:02pm]
[ mood | sore ]

oh-em-gee is all i can say. i ache all over. i am tired as fuck. im like dying. hah

went to blue springs today
went on an 8 mile hike
got lost
almost died
haha not the last one
but the 8 mile hike should say it all
specially since we went with Frau the Speed Demon
its like you would catch up
and then BAM Frau would be fifty feet in front of you.
the way there wasnt bad
way back sucked
i was all alone
vultures followed me
and yea that was my day
im so soooorrreee and tired.
and everytime i fell asleep something or someone woke me up
so im online
talking to hector
and waiting for tomorrow

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infected with the virus of emo [18 Feb 2006|07:33pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

im in an odd mood.

lots has happened..

nothin of much importance.

just stuff..

getting closer with hector.

getting further apart from other people.

im in a weird mood.

got a million little pieces today. its an amazing book. really amazing.

got me thinking about how much ive progressed during the years.

like how horrible things were in 8th grade and how bad they were this year and how i dealt with them this year compared to 8th. progressed a lot since the beginning of this year too.

i was listening to hellogoodbye and i broke down crying. i have no clue why. i guess its good. i havent had a good cry in a while.

mellowed out a bit. i found out that top 8s on myspace suck. i also found out that i am hating people with every fiber of my being. no one specifically. just people. they bug me.

having mixed feelings about a bunch of things.

was in a writing mood. now im not.

i figured out that ive always had an addiction to different things. cutting, getting high on like whiteout and stuff,painkillers, benedryil, being obsessed with finding a bf, getting obsessed with people i like, and now its food. im on a strict diet. yet ive been eating everything im not supposed to, even though it could give me a heart attack my cholestrol is so high. what is wrong with me i wonder? i dont even know how i got like this. i mean i have gotten better with it but im still doing major destruction to myself. and my life isnt messed up right now. i think it might be that i need something stable in my life. but i cant find stable things.. my friends are stable..sometimes. i found out im losing more than i'm gaining. ive only been hanging with one group and neglecting the other. but the other doesnt seem to care. its slowly driving me insane.

i dont know. i really dont. its annoying me.

w/e. not in the mood for anymore thinking.

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my ghetto pop life hotter than a hot slice I'm an urban entertainer of the hot nights [12 Feb 2006|07:47pm]
[ mood | amused ]

letss see whats up?

mall today.

got there late cuz hectors dad wouldnt let him leave until he ate. but we hung out. actually justina and brittany left us so me and hector could be alone. i had a great time with him. great pics. cant wait til i get them developed. yea yea. twas fun.. hector never tried on a dress tho. he wasnt in the mood. yea i dunno what else to say but..

chuck norris kicks ass

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down from the heavens decended chuck norris who delivered a kick which could shatter bones [11 Feb 2006|09:34pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

yea so today was great. talked on the phone til 3 in the morning last night. had that convo with hector.. and uh updated my myspace to be totally chuck norris friendly. haha its great. except rueff

he wont lay off

trying to guilt me into taking him back

its not working. look:

Funny faces
In sunny places
Being in love it feels so great
And all I need is
Two ingredients:
My buttercup
And the perfrect place

Me and you
Here’s what we’ll do
Walk hand-in-hand
Into lovers land, aah
You’re the best
And I can’t resist
A kiss on the lips aaah aaah

Don’t talk
Just watch the world go by
As we float away
In slow motion
So special
It’s so special
You the girl I see
I am your boy to be

I’m so happy
I’m so happy
That I’m a boy and you’re a girl alright
I’m so happy
I’m so happy
I’m overjoyed
We’re gonna hang out tonight

I can’t walk
Can’t move
Because I’m paralyzed
By your love
And that’s ok by me
I’m so happy
I’m so happy
It’s real great
We’re lovers of loving love
Lovers of loving love

It’s so hip
To give you a kiss
And taste cherry chapstick aaah
It’s our secret,
Our little secret
We’ll never tell
Don’t talk
Just watch the world go by
As we float away
In slow motion
So special
It’s so special
You the girl I see
I am your boy to be

I’m so happy
I’m so happy
That I’m a boy and you’re a girl alright
I’m so happy
I’m so happy
I’m overjoyed
We’re gonna hang out tonight

I can’t walk
Can’t move
Because I’m paralyzed
By your love
And that’s ok by me
I’m so happy
I’m so happy
It’s real great
We’re lovers of loving love
Lovers of loving love

Lovers of loving
Love it’s love
It’s love
It’s love
It’s love
It’s love
We’re dreaming of

Lovers of loving
Love it’s love
It’s love
It’s love
It’s love
It’s lovers of loving love

ill miss you liz

(lovers of loving love.. one of my favourite songs from the aquabats.)

then i have a pic with my heart monitor on and underneath it says "you broke my heart" it was supposed to be a joke but he puts : this one just crushes me.....:( sry i did, nvr meant to

im like omg leave me alone. we're not getting back together

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^_^ [11 Feb 2006|04:07pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Liz iz a PIMP: so whats new and interesting hector my buddy?
euphonic drifter: im getting steak and shake for dinner
euphonic drifter: i love steak and shake
Liz iz a PIMP: hah nice
Liz iz a PIMP: i dont like steak
Liz iz a PIMP: or meat
Liz iz a PIMP: hah
euphonic drifter: i love meat
euphonic drifter: get used to it
Liz iz a PIMP: i dont care if you like it
Liz iz a PIMP: im just saying i dont
euphonic drifter: look on the bright side
euphonic drifter: you cant be a fat cow, because you are what you eat
Liz iz a PIMP: trueee
Liz iz a PIMP: thats pretty cool
Liz iz a PIMP: im a vegetabllle
Liz iz a PIMP: or sumthin
euphonic drifter: youre a banana
Liz iz a PIMP: i dont eat bananas
euphonic drifter: i do
Liz iz a PIMP: hah yes i knew that
Liz iz a PIMP: i have 7 minutes
euphonic drifter: fine well change it
euphonic drifter: i just like bananas... what fruit would you like to be?
euphonic drifter: loser
Liz iz a PIMP: so if you say im a banana you like me?
euphonic drifter: i like bananas and i was thinking of a fruit or vegetable i liked
Liz iz a PIMP: that didnt answer my question
Liz iz a PIMP: dont change the subject
Liz iz a PIMP: 5 minutes
Liz iz a PIMP: loser
euphonic drifter: what!?
euphonic drifter: @#$%#
Liz iz a PIMP: you heard me punk
euphonic drifter: if i call you a banana, i like you, but its not reserved to bananas
Liz iz a PIMP: meaning..
euphonic drifter: pick a veggie or fruit we can agree with
euphonic drifter: as your symbolic food symbol
euphonic drifter: we all nee dto make one
euphonic drifter: justina, sarah, etc.
Liz iz a PIMP: i see
Liz iz a PIMP: what are you?
euphonic drifter: i dunno
Liz iz a PIMP: well
Liz iz a PIMP: pick something
Liz iz a PIMP: ill stay a banana
Liz iz a PIMP: 2 minutess
euphonic drifter: fuck
Liz iz a PIMP: your gonna miss me
Liz iz a PIMP: *youre
euphonic drifter: now look, i never said that
Liz iz a PIMP: you didnt have to
euphonic drifter: you are jumping to conclusions
euphonic drifter: i deserve better than that!
Liz iz a PIMP: ok well i wont leave until you say you'll miss me
euphonic drifter: oh well then
euphonic drifter: youll be here a while
Liz iz a PIMP: thats not cool
Liz iz a PIMP: you wont admit youll miss me
euphonic drifter: admit@?
euphonic drifter: never
Liz iz a PIMP: why not?
euphonic drifter: theres nothing to admit
Liz iz a PIMP: so you wont miss me?
euphonic drifter: nope
Liz iz a PIMP: yes you will
Liz iz a PIMP: dont lie
euphonic drifter: what is this crap!?
Liz iz a PIMP: you know its true
Liz iz a PIMP: well i was supposed to leave 3 minutes ago
Liz iz a PIMP: so i guess i need to go now
euphonic drifter: bwahahaha
euphonic drifter: 3 minutes
Liz iz a PIMP: haha
Liz iz a PIMP: shut up
Liz iz a PIMP: ok fine ill give you 2 more minutes to admit it
euphonic drifter: *yawn*
Liz iz a PIMP: you know you want to say something
euphonic drifter: youre right
euphonic drifter: shutup
Liz iz a PIMP: ok fine im leaving noww
euphonic drifter: yayy
Liz iz a PIMP: thats not nice
Liz iz a PIMP: just for that
Liz iz a PIMP: im staying for 5 more

2 comments|post comment

hurrah [08 Feb 2006|05:29pm]
[ mood | high ]


lets seeee

wow i dont know where to start. most of you know, me and rueff broke up. hes being kind of dumb about it. being immature. like saying dumb things. i was bumbed yesterday ya know but today we kinda made up.. kinda so it was good.

and then like things went good. me and hector hung out a lot. which was fun

uhh idk nothin excited happened until this..

ok hector was talking about getting back with his ex and i got kind of upset and i told him everything. i told him ive liked him for a while and even when i went out with rueff a bit of the feeling was still there and he was shocked and flattered and we didnt really talk for a while but then we got to talking and we had this part of the conversation:

euphonic drifter: tomorrow i work on the play after school again
euphonic drifter: you have to see it
Liz iz a PIMP: im planning on it
euphonic drifter: what!?
euphonic drifter: youre gonna be the only friend i really stick with after this year ends
Liz iz a PIMP: it sounds good why wouldnt i stick with it?
euphonic drifter: i never said you wouldnt
euphonic drifter: im just saying that youre gonan be the only friend i really stay with after vierlings class ends
euphonic drifter: and summer starts
Liz iz a PIMP: how do you figure that?
euphonic drifter: justina is leaving
euphonic drifter: sarah and i wont have classes together i can bet
euphonic drifter: kyle and i probably wont
euphonic drifter: britney or you wont
euphonic drifter: but im closest to you
Liz iz a PIMP: yea i noticed that. wonder why that is
euphonic drifter: youre the one i see with the most untapped potential
Liz iz a PIMP: like what?
euphonic drifter: a perfect candidate for me to help you mature into a beautiful woman
Liz iz a PIMP: aww thanks
euphonic drifter: its dinner time for me
Liz iz a PIMP: ok
euphonic drifter: if it makes you feel any better, ive had a small crush on you since i met you, thanks to your potential
euphonic drifter: its still there

so i dunno. cheered me up.

6 comments|post comment

not giving up on you [05 Feb 2006|12:53pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

i made up with rueff last night

ya know i was mad at him cuz he didnt call me back but he thot i was on a church retreat because i originally thot i would be on one..so i called around midnight and he said some things:

"I thot you were on the church retreat thing, i didnt want to disturb you. i was thinking about you all day and i was thinking how much i care about you and i love you and how i really screwed up this time. and im sorry im really sorry about everything. i shouldnt be trying to change you. i mean im not trying to change you, just your outlook on things. i would never want to change you. i love you. and it kills me to hear you say that you dont know if i care about you, if i love you, and that you dont know how i feel. and it makes me think of how good of a girlfriend you are and how lousy a boyfriend am i. right now i want what you want. so what do you want? you want to break up with me, ill support you in that. its up to you. i love you though and im sorry if i dont show it alot. but its the truth."

so i told him that before, last night and earlier today i was not sure. like part of me wanted to break it off, part of me didnt. i asked people and i got varied answers from them and then i talked to my mom about it and she said it was up to me, i could break it off if i wanted to or i could wait it out and wait for it to end. if i waited it out, she said that i wouldnt have any regrets. so i told him i want to stay together. i just dont want him to control me. and he understood and said he'd step off. and yea we are going good now again. and im happy.

o yea someone called me at 11:30 and i was asleep but like i looked on my phone thing and it said i had answered it. i remember picking it up but i dont remember who it was or what i said. its extremely funny. haha. any idea who 407 855 7232 is? its somewhat familar but idk. anyway ttyl.

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Therapy [04 Feb 2006|12:54pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Liz iz a PIMP: o yea i talked to rueff last night
humAninSaneYLUM: what happend
Liz iz a PIMP: it was a very interesting convo
humAninSaneYLUM: what was said
euphonic drifter: bwahahaha
euphonic drifter: interesting can be taing so many ways
euphonic drifter: taken*
humAninSaneYLUM: i didnt take it at all
humAninSaneYLUM: because i dont know waht was said
euphonic drifter: then youre a squid
humAninSaneYLUM: squids are intelligent
Liz iz a PIMP: he explained to me what he meant when he called me imature and mocking my religion and whatever was cuz hes trying to get me to broaden my horizons
Liz iz a PIMP: he still thinks im imature which i think is funny
humAninSaneYLUM: hes retarted Liz
humAninSaneYLUM: thick head
Liz iz a PIMP: and then like i dunno he says he cares about me and everything and he loves me or w/e and i just dont know. like hes changed so much since we've been going out
humAninSaneYLUM: thats the same thing sarah was saying about kyle
humAninSaneYLUM: im never getting in a relationship, damn.
humAninSaneYLUM: well back into one i mean.
humAninSaneYLUM: i think that he cares about but he is thickheaded
Liz iz a PIMP: and hes like saying that a lot of couples have like fights and stuff and that we're just going to have to get through this but if hes going to try to alter me i dunno if it'll work
humAninSaneYLUM: exactly
Liz iz a PIMP: cuz i dont like people telling me i need to change something. i can change it myself if i want to
humAninSaneYLUM: exactly
Liz iz a PIMP: i mean i know hes trying to help and all but its not working
Liz iz a PIMP: plus he like looks down on me like im so young
Liz iz a PIMP: im only like a grade younger than him
humAninSaneYLUM: well males mature slower than females so even if thats the case you would be more mature anyway
humAninSaneYLUM: and seems that you are
humAninSaneYLUM: he doesnt have the right to try and "broaden your horizons" if thats not waht you want and even if it was there are better ways to do that
humAninSaneYLUM: and if it was you he chose to go out with then you that he will be with not some ideal women he plans to change you into
humAninSaneYLUM: you**
Liz iz a PIMP: yea and i told him that. and then i asked him about our relationship. he thinks its been better and stuff except for thursday and yesterday and like i dont even know how its going.
humAninSaneYLUM: hmmm
humAninSaneYLUM: i dont know
Liz iz a PIMP: idk either
humAninSaneYLUM: what he needs to do though is treat you better, like you are on the same level as him not some clay model he can mold
Liz iz a PIMP: what do you think hector?
humAninSaneYLUM: HW
Liz iz a PIMP: o yea i forgot
humAninSaneYLUM: he needs to return homework is for losers
Liz iz a PIMP: yea i know
Liz iz a PIMP: id like his imput
euphonic drifter: hello y'all
euphonic drifter: i was on my bed doing homework
Liz iz a PIMP: yea
euphonic drifter: okay, well this is partly why i think hes dumb
euphonic drifter: he swears he has everything figured out when hes COMPLETELY OFF
euphonic drifter: yes, hes trying to mold you into the woman he wants because you arent
euphonic drifter: and since youre resisting, hes like "uhh..."
euphonic drifter: and that thinking youre inferior because youre younger thing is just ignorant
humAninSaneYLUM: exactly
Liz iz a PIMP: ok
Liz iz a PIMP: continue
humAninSaneYLUM: yes please do
humAninSaneYLUM: i think im a jynx everytyme im here you go awa evertym e i go away you come back
Liz iz a PIMP: hahaha
Liz iz a PIMP: yea actually i think its true justina
Liz iz a PIMP: ha
humAninSaneYLUM: me too
humAninSaneYLUM: he said he got sick of me once, maybe its on purpose
humAninSaneYLUM: its all i good
euphonic drifter: lol
humAninSaneYLUM: seeee, i go away and there you are
euphonic drifter: lol
humAninSaneYLUM: your laughing, because im riight?
euphonic drifter: yes
Liz iz a PIMP: hah
humAninSaneYLUM: its all good hector i gotchu
euphonic drifter: rueff is looking for you to change and is fine with the trouble
euphonic drifter: hes playing god right now
euphonic drifter: like "ass, shes mad. its okay, shell get over it"
euphonic drifter: type of thing
Liz iz a PIMP: but why is he so keen on wanting me to change? he used to be happy about me the way i was
euphonic drifter: maybe he discovered these things later
euphonic drifter: if not, its just a thing that changes with time
euphonic drifter: like how you get annoyed about something over time
Liz iz a PIMP: o
Liz iz a PIMP: so what should i do about the whole thing?
humAninSaneYLUM: my parents are playing DDR
Liz iz a PIMP: hahahaha
humAninSaneYLUM: its hilarious thats why i kept going away to laugh
euphonic drifter: whatever you feel
euphonic drifter: just speak your mind
Liz iz a PIMP: but i dont know what i feel anymore
humAninSaneYLUM: its there you just can't be afraid to tune into it
euphonic drifter: yes you do
euphonic drifter: just look for it
humAninSaneYLUM: exactly
humAninSaneYLUM: i think your afraid to find out what you feel so your blocking it out
Liz iz a PIMP: but i have mixed things about this. like i like him, i care about him but i just dont like the way hes behaving right now. its not always like this
euphonic drifter: so
euphonic drifter: just keep telling him what you think
euphonic drifter: like youve been doing
Liz iz a PIMP: and jist see what happens?
Liz iz a PIMP: *just
humAninSaneYLUM: i think so
Liz iz a PIMP: ok
Liz iz a PIMP: thanks you guys
humAninSaneYLUM: don't thank me i didnt do anything
euphonic drifter: rueff is in control of it
euphonic drifter: youre jsut telling him what you feel
euphonic drifter: thats all you can really do in your position
euphonic drifter: its what he does with it that will determine whats happening
humAninSaneYLUM: yessir
Liz iz a PIMP: so its basically what he wants. if he wants to change me so bad but i wont let him he can either live with it or break up with me>
Liz iz a PIMP: *?
humAninSaneYLUM: it push it to the point where you break up with him
humAninSaneYLUM: or**
Liz iz a PIMP: ok

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i really want to be a superhero, instead of being such a zero [04 Feb 2006|10:49am]
[ mood | confused ]

man things have been insane. like me and rueff kinda had another fight but we talked it out last night.. i just dont know anymore. ok he's changed a lot since we've been going out. and like sometimes i love being in a relationship with him and i just love him but i dont know anymore. im not even sure if im mad at him now..im not sure if we should hang out today and forget the whole thing..im not sure ya know?

and like before hector was annoying the crap out of me asking if Rueff was an idiot. he asked like everyone at my table, he asked some teachers and stuff. and im like "WHY DO YOU CARE??!!" and hes like "i just wanted to see if i was right." now i didnt believe that reason whatsoever so i asked joe about it and he's like "one question..is he single?" "yea" "he likes you." so you know i was thinking about that all day. he likes me now? i liked him forever ago when he had a girlfriend and i was kinda lost in that all day.

so like i was talking to hector last night and he was going to go workout but he came back to tell me this:

euphonic drifter: oh and one more thing
euphonic drifter returned at 4:08:22 PM.
euphonic drifter: earlier today when you asked me why do i care if your boyfriend is an idiot, its because i care about you
euphonic drifter: but i wasnt sure if i should say that
euphonic drifter: in public i mean
Liz iz a PIMP: care about me how?
euphonic drifter: i just want to be assured that your partner knows what hes doing completely
euphonic drifter: so he doesnt hurt you involuntarily due to just not thining about it
euphonic drifter: like the religion thing
euphonic drifter: things like that
Liz iz a PIMP: ah
Liz iz a PIMP: but is that in like a friendly way or do you like me?
euphonic drifter: friendly way
euphonic drifter: you have the potential to be someone id look to as a partner
euphonic drifter: but youd need to develop more
euphonic drifter: as of right now, you look like youre on the right path
Liz iz a PIMP: ah
Liz iz a PIMP: well maybe in the future
euphonic drifter: its a possibility
euphonic drifter: im thinking it would take you the greater part of your adolescence
Liz iz a PIMP: yea
Liz iz a PIMP: i had a feeling thats what was going on
euphonic drifter: trust your intuition
Liz iz a PIMP: ok
euphonic drifter: i just needed to tell you that
Liz iz a PIMP: i appreciate it
euphonic drifter: misunderstanding is not healthy
euphonic drifter: and that comes through communication
euphonic drifter: :-)
euphonic drifter: take care
euphonic drifter: i also forgot to say bye before i left to work out
Liz iz a PIMP: ok
Liz iz a PIMP: take care too
Liz iz a PIMP: bye
euphonic drifter: goodbye
euphonic drifter is away at 4:14:37 PM.

so i dunno. i kinda feel better about it and i mean i tell hector a hell of a lot. he helps me through things and stuff. hes good like that. and i feel better that i have someone to talk to about everything. taylors been a love too. we talked on the phone for a while last night. and like the one thing tho was when we called up rueff.. three-wayed...he didnt know i was on the phone.. and he explained that i was overreacting about what he said because all he meant to say is that i should broaden my horizons but i dunno some of what he said got to me. so i dont even know if im mad with him right now. i just dont know. hopefully the right path will present itself. idk

boom boom kaboom

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fuck my life [31 Jan 2006|02:57pm]
[ mood | numb ]

well things are getting better and better for me...

stupid rumors

not getting my friend to stand up for me

rueff not even meeting me after school

having killer stress headaches and stomach aches

not being able to do the talent show

and now it seems like im not doing football either. they had to fucking cancel my appointment.. i dunno why but they have to. and coniditioning has already started..

and i know im being emoish again but why does everything seem to be falling apart?things will go really good and then really bad. its gay. not fair at all.

w/e. i need a nap.

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